does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
did i walk over a car last night?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
