Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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