wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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