I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
