I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
