hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
