I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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