she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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