Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize