i think my tv is drunk
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
