Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
