i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
