i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
