So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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