Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
