Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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