Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize