I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
