Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
