If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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