you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
