My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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