No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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