He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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