I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
