just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
