its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
