He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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