since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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