he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you win again, gameday.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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