Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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