Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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