what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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