Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
