It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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