Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he quoted the bible to break up with me
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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