hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
