Cold hands, warm shart.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
