she woke up with a sticky ear
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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