apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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