I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
COCAINE IS GR8
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
