nut hugger
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
