marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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