Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
