We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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