i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
