Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize