people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
