Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
