once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Randomize