STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize