YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
