This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
